my childhood with some story
high school experiences
the life of an every day kid
TS:In In Two Kinds by Amy Tan and The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros in the vingette ”What Sally Said” the theme is focused on being trapped.
CD:One the first page it says “if you don`t hurry up and get me out here,i`m disappearing for good”it warned.”And then you`ll always be nothing.”
CM:I believe that if you have a talent it should be your choice to put it out to the world or not her mom forced her to to talent shows and practice all the time.
CM:In the story her mom and Old man Chong were in my mind living there dreams through her.
CD:In “What Sally Said” it says that “one day her father catches her talking to a boy and the next day she doesn’t come to school.
CM:I feel Sally’s father is very abusive and he needs help.
CM:In life kids shouldn’t have to worry about doing something wrong because they know there parents with hurt them, parents should be there to defend there kids not hurt them.
CS:Life shouldn’t be controlled by other people we should be able to make are own choices so we are not trapped under someone else.
8 LITERation
AMY TAN
- simile:you look like a negro chinese.
- simile:i was like the christ child lifted out of the straw manger,crying with holy indignity.
- simile: She was proudly modest like a proper cinese child.
- simile:he was deaf like Beethoven.
- it felt like worms and toads and slimy things crawlin out of my chest. simile.
- You pick up fast my mother said as if she knew this was certain. simile.
- if she had as much talent as she had temper shed be famous by now.simile.
SIRE.
- Alliteration:pinching pennies.
- aliteration:painted pale pale pink.
- simile:pale like salamanders that have never seen the sun.
- simile: i had to look tack hard just like he was glass.
- simile:everything is waiting to explode like Christmas.
- assonice:droop like tulips.
I believe that thoms is a better story, because i can easily relate the there situation. two kinds is more based on a rich girl with a lot of opportunity and thoms is about a poor family making everything a lesson. But either way two kinds has a lesson to be tearned to belive in your talent. to concuid thoms is a better constructed vignette.
John did a very good job on the paer just needs to fix some little things and he could have alleast a B or an A .He has very strong word your opening paragraph is very strong and fullof facts.
he use tags he has tags, for example me references the Alaska fish and game department but i think he can find more tag lines
he repeats a couple things in different ways but they all come out to different solutions for invasive fish in the kenai river
all the paragrphs follow locical kinda but in some spots they dont.
he can add more solid facts that would give better reasoning for his CD
blog.oregonlive.com › ATVs: Deceptively Dangerous
this shows how many people died on snowmachines.
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=snowmobiles%20accidents&source=web&cd=1&sqi=2&ved=0CD0QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.dnr.state.mn.us%2Fenforcement%2Fincident_reports%2Fsnowmobileaccidents08.pdf&ei=E1oDT8fgDKqpiALlgoCNDQ&usg=AFQjCNHtwDzq7BWuvAy07HLDlgtZo8akEQ THis site shows how people died and all the details
http://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/205948/extreme_sports/snowmobile_accidents_a_growing_risk.html.
This site talks about how snow machine operators should take a safety course.
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=snowmobiles%20accidents&source=web&cd=9&sqi=2&ved=0CHUQFjAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.traditionalmountaineering.org%2FNews_Snowmobiles_Damages.htm&ei=E1oDT8fgDKqpiALlgoCNDQ&usg=AFQjCNGJW9nntOoGQhX7-ez_Mw4DS22j1g. This talks about how dangers it is to not have snow machine safety i
i would want people to look for
good gramer , spelling , if it all sounds right, and if the begin and end follow the same topice.
and i have adjatives, no conjuctions, diolge and also complete sentences.
In class today we talked about how to revise are paragraphs. I learned that alot of my sentences start with we,i ,and the team.And i can fix those pretty easy. also i need to fix my contrations like couldnt and shouldnt.i need to add some adverbs but besides that it is all looking pretty good.